It has been quite awhile since I last posted. Where do I begin?
I lost my nephew.
My grandfather died.
My brother moved home from the Marine Corps.
My friend died.
I lost my virginity.
I broke my mom's heart.
I had my heart broken.
I saw my birth dad, step mom, and half sister for dinner.
I found out I need open heart surgery again.
My car is breaking down.
I am in debt.
I had a huge blowout of defiance with my step dad.
I had an idea of starting a Christian night club.
I decided to go back into Nursing and am pursuing Pediatrics.
I deepened a relationship with a good (girl) friend.
My passion for God that I have been praying for has been rekindled.
I joined the worship team at my church.
I started journaling to God again.
My passion for worship has been reignited.
I got my job back.
So, as you can see, I have had good and bad things happen since I last wrote. I am a sinner. human. frail. broken. redeemed. forgiven. and set free.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Heartbeat of a Baby
So I have a question. How many of you RECENTLY have had a "Duh!" moment? Yeah...Mine was today.
It's not super funny, so don't get all excited and think that you can laugh at me :)
The last 6 months I have taken share in having custody of my nephew (who is now 14 months old). A dream of mine has always been to be a mom to kids. I love babies and little kiddos...what can I say? BUT, they turn into pre-teen and teenagers...SEE YA! (totally kidding here guys).
Anywhohow....
DJ has melted my heart from the first time I met him (which sadly was just this last December when he was 8 months old). I take full responsibility in teaching him to walk by the way! If any of you know my nephew, you know how easily he entraps you with those big, bright. and beautiful blue eyes. My favorite thing about DJ is and will always be (even if he is 16 and fights me on this one...) his massive cuddly hugs.
This little boy has so much to offer the world....Okay, I could go on for hours talking about the amazingness that is this Kid, but I shall stick to the point of my blog for today.
I was thinking today of how I would feel WHEN, not IF, DJ has to leave and go live somewhere else....This waiting game has been tough and slowly I have been preparing my heart to watch him leave so that the disappointment isn't so deep....but, what I was thinking about DJ leaving was this-will I be okay? Will HE be okay?
Then God started showing me something pretty amazing. In the last 3ish weeks, I have felt like my world has been crumbling down on top of me and I have not relied on Him like I need(ed) to. In my selfishness and pride AND in the middle of my BROKENESS, He gently showed me that the last 6 months I have been able to see the heart of God through DJ. Literally. I walk into the room, DJ giggles and his face lights up as he bounces on his chubby little legs waiting for me to pick him up-JUST LIKE God lights up and dances for joy as He waits for me to come running to Him and return His excitement with a smile and laughter.
The times I need to sit and spoon feed DJ, are the bonding moments we have as he ends up feeding me. DJ loves to be in my space as God loves to be in my space. When I am driving DJ to and from Daycare, we talk (well, he makes noises as I talk) and we sing. DJ loves singing to the songs on the radio. In these times I feel Gods peace and feel like I have the heart of a child again.
DJ and I love to cuddle together and Daddy in Heaven loves me to just crawl on His lap as He strokes my hair and tells me how much He loves me.
Granted, God isn't dependent on me for His survival, but the relationship principal is still existent as it is with DJ. How cool is it that when we do not see God around us in the present and we start to complain or get discouraged, He smiles down at us and turns us around so we can look at what He has done for us in our journey. DJ brings life to my eyes, a meaning to giggle, an opportunity to serve, an ability to bond, and a longing to love.
It is so cool to think that with how much I love DJ, and seek every opportunity to allow him to pour his infectious joyful self onto me, GOD LOVES ME even more and He looks forward to the times I allow myself to be poured into by Him. Oh!! God is soooo awesome. :)
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE A MOMMY...in a few years...and marriage....okay, okay, I CAN wait, BUT I am really looking forward to it.
So, while this isn't a deep spiritual post, it is something to think about...YOU are a child of the Living God, not a nephew or a niece, but an actual heir to the Kingdom of GOD! Don't run from His love.
Much love,
Stevie Rae
It's not super funny, so don't get all excited and think that you can laugh at me :)
The last 6 months I have taken share in having custody of my nephew (who is now 14 months old). A dream of mine has always been to be a mom to kids. I love babies and little kiddos...what can I say? BUT, they turn into pre-teen and teenagers...SEE YA! (totally kidding here guys).
Anywhohow....
DJ has melted my heart from the first time I met him (which sadly was just this last December when he was 8 months old). I take full responsibility in teaching him to walk by the way! If any of you know my nephew, you know how easily he entraps you with those big, bright. and beautiful blue eyes. My favorite thing about DJ is and will always be (even if he is 16 and fights me on this one...) his massive cuddly hugs.
This little boy has so much to offer the world....Okay, I could go on for hours talking about the amazingness that is this Kid, but I shall stick to the point of my blog for today.
I was thinking today of how I would feel WHEN, not IF, DJ has to leave and go live somewhere else....This waiting game has been tough and slowly I have been preparing my heart to watch him leave so that the disappointment isn't so deep....but, what I was thinking about DJ leaving was this-will I be okay? Will HE be okay?
Then God started showing me something pretty amazing. In the last 3ish weeks, I have felt like my world has been crumbling down on top of me and I have not relied on Him like I need(ed) to. In my selfishness and pride AND in the middle of my BROKENESS, He gently showed me that the last 6 months I have been able to see the heart of God through DJ. Literally. I walk into the room, DJ giggles and his face lights up as he bounces on his chubby little legs waiting for me to pick him up-JUST LIKE God lights up and dances for joy as He waits for me to come running to Him and return His excitement with a smile and laughter.
The times I need to sit and spoon feed DJ, are the bonding moments we have as he ends up feeding me. DJ loves to be in my space as God loves to be in my space. When I am driving DJ to and from Daycare, we talk (well, he makes noises as I talk) and we sing. DJ loves singing to the songs on the radio. In these times I feel Gods peace and feel like I have the heart of a child again.
DJ and I love to cuddle together and Daddy in Heaven loves me to just crawl on His lap as He strokes my hair and tells me how much He loves me.
Granted, God isn't dependent on me for His survival, but the relationship principal is still existent as it is with DJ. How cool is it that when we do not see God around us in the present and we start to complain or get discouraged, He smiles down at us and turns us around so we can look at what He has done for us in our journey. DJ brings life to my eyes, a meaning to giggle, an opportunity to serve, an ability to bond, and a longing to love.
It is so cool to think that with how much I love DJ, and seek every opportunity to allow him to pour his infectious joyful self onto me, GOD LOVES ME even more and He looks forward to the times I allow myself to be poured into by Him. Oh!! God is soooo awesome. :)
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE A MOMMY...in a few years...and marriage....okay, okay, I CAN wait, BUT I am really looking forward to it.
So, while this isn't a deep spiritual post, it is something to think about...YOU are a child of the Living God, not a nephew or a niece, but an actual heir to the Kingdom of GOD! Don't run from His love.
Much love,
Stevie Rae
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Too Lonely to be Alone
Its this game that is played between our heads and our hearts in regards to pure emotion and reality. Our dilemma is choosing which side to be on. The fact is, the more we take the focus of Truth and put it on ourselves, our circumstances, and people around us, the more miserable we become. THAT is when our heart intermingles with emotion and declares check mate.
How can we straggle on daily while feeling like a pair of eyes are constantly watching us, or a shadowing presence that lurks around every corner is about to catch up with us, and not take time to think that there could be 'More Out There'.
I emphasize this in quotations because (and here is the shocker....) we are NOT alone. Ever. Whether the enemy or The Best Friend, we always have someone watching our backs. I think the problem with ourselves and our society, is that we become so distracted with temporary euphoria's of money, sex, success, drugs, food addictions, alcohol, and whatever else we can temporarily place our hands on, that we lose sight of what is deep down in us. The quietness that tells us to Be Still And Know; the eagle that says we can Rise And Not Fall...In recognition of this dilemma, why do we not take the time to stop and act on the silence screaming our names?
Humans are so encompassed in fear. and fear, if manifested, gives birth to death. This death can be emotional death, mental, relational, psychological, spiritual, and even physical death. When motivated by fear, people do everything to avoid dealing with the fear itself. The scapegoat of comfortability sounds safe and protective in a world screaming for challenge...There is SO much that is wrong with this kind of logic.
When we cannot pick ourselves up and walk in success (NOT defined by OUR standards), we are being carried. Problem with letting go of our fear and allowing ourselves to walk as individuals and stop stumbling as infants, is our disbelief.
Walking alone is not bad. Walking lonely is bad. When we are alone, we are never alone. We always have a Protector, a Comforter, a Healer, a Confidant with us when we are alone. our focus of alone-ness is not directed into ourselves, but outwardly and upwardly. When we are lonely, we are focusing on what we are missing and what is wrong with our situations. We take the ability to lean onto the invisible, yet present force, of Safety, Security, Help, and Love to carry us and place ourselves in front of the equation thinking we can handle it.
We have to learn to not let our hearts (which is deceitful above ALL things...who can understand it?) and our emotions, and not trap us in the corner of life with a stamp of defeat. We have periods of times (sometimes more than desirable) where we are alone. We need that assurance that we don't have to fight through life's trials blinded. We also have periods of times when we stumble and become lonely.
Where is our focus going to be directed in any moment of weakness?
Change your perspective, and I guarantee your attitude with change also.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Saturday, May 18, 2013
What's the Difference?
I have been struggling with a very strong thought in my head. There is this picture I have outlined in my head of a brand new and beautiful relationship.
We all know that in the beginning of these kinds of relationships, everything seems like it is the best thing ever and nothing can stop the love flowing between the two people. A few months later, this shift in the atmosphere hits and the two lovebirds are not as close as they were in the beginning. You hear things like "I trust you but you are testing my trust", or "I trusted you and you hurt me". Even in friendships, we see people hurt and torn apart because "trust" was broken. Is this pain really necessary to keep carrying around or allowing to continue happening?
My thought is this (and it may be strange):
What if we are NOT supposed to trust each other? What if God designed us to have faith in one another?
Like we see a chair, we know we can sit in that chair and not fall to the ground. We can see that this chair has 4 legs and looks pretty sturdy. We have faith that the chair will hold us when we sit down. The chair could be faulty, yet we take a risk anyways. Well, what about humans? We see each other. We know a thousand percent that we all have faults and flaws. Is it fair to say "I trust you" in knowing that the faults and flaws of that person can hinder the results of that trust continuing to hold strong?
Trust requires every fiber in our being to rely on the thing in which we place our trust. God is perfect. He will not fail us. I think it's a safe bet to say that I can put my trust in God and know I will not be disappointed. This does not mean that God will answer my prayers according to my means or my timing. So what may seem like trust is broken when God does not come to my calling according to how I THINK things should be handled, does not mean He has failed me. I am stronger (you are stronger) because when we fully put our trust in God, we can rest assured that HE is either working behind the scenes or working ahead of us for our benefit.
Why put our full being into a faulty person who WILL, not MIGHT, let us down?
With faith, there is that room for growth. We can have faith as small as a mustard seed and still move mountains (Matthew 17:20). With this thinking, we can know that the faults in the chair that we hope will support us, or the character flaws in the person we devote ourselves too, or the best friend that will say harmful things will sustain us in those times.
IT IS NOT THE REJECTION THAT HURTS, IT IS THE EXPECTATIONS.
In Psalm chapter 1, it says "...His delight is in the law of the LORD and on HIs law he meditates day and night..." A few months ago, my Daddy sat down with us kids and talked to us about this verse in Psalms in relation to trust/faith. The word 'Delight' is used in reference to the Psalmists entire being processing and hoping and devoting himself to the words of God. This is TRUST. You do not heavily meditate and study something you do not trust is accurate or reliable.
If we are trusting people, 1) we will be disappointed, and 2) we are pulling the power from God in our relationship with Him and focusing our attention on a human who will be born, live, and die. These people around us cannot give us the support, and love that we need and are searching for, but God CAN and SHOULD be demonstrated in our relationships/friendships with people.
With this thinking, I go back again to my original thought: Does this mean we are not to trust people but to trust God and to have faith in people?
I know that for me, I will keep praying and studying on this topic because too many times I allow my expectations and trust of people to hurt me and hinder my growth.
Rest in this: you will never regret fully placing your trust in God.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
We all know that in the beginning of these kinds of relationships, everything seems like it is the best thing ever and nothing can stop the love flowing between the two people. A few months later, this shift in the atmosphere hits and the two lovebirds are not as close as they were in the beginning. You hear things like "I trust you but you are testing my trust", or "I trusted you and you hurt me". Even in friendships, we see people hurt and torn apart because "trust" was broken. Is this pain really necessary to keep carrying around or allowing to continue happening?
My thought is this (and it may be strange):
What if we are NOT supposed to trust each other? What if God designed us to have faith in one another?
Like we see a chair, we know we can sit in that chair and not fall to the ground. We can see that this chair has 4 legs and looks pretty sturdy. We have faith that the chair will hold us when we sit down. The chair could be faulty, yet we take a risk anyways. Well, what about humans? We see each other. We know a thousand percent that we all have faults and flaws. Is it fair to say "I trust you" in knowing that the faults and flaws of that person can hinder the results of that trust continuing to hold strong?
Trust requires every fiber in our being to rely on the thing in which we place our trust. God is perfect. He will not fail us. I think it's a safe bet to say that I can put my trust in God and know I will not be disappointed. This does not mean that God will answer my prayers according to my means or my timing. So what may seem like trust is broken when God does not come to my calling according to how I THINK things should be handled, does not mean He has failed me. I am stronger (you are stronger) because when we fully put our trust in God, we can rest assured that HE is either working behind the scenes or working ahead of us for our benefit.
Why put our full being into a faulty person who WILL, not MIGHT, let us down?
With faith, there is that room for growth. We can have faith as small as a mustard seed and still move mountains (Matthew 17:20). With this thinking, we can know that the faults in the chair that we hope will support us, or the character flaws in the person we devote ourselves too, or the best friend that will say harmful things will sustain us in those times.
IT IS NOT THE REJECTION THAT HURTS, IT IS THE EXPECTATIONS.
In Psalm chapter 1, it says "...His delight is in the law of the LORD and on HIs law he meditates day and night..." A few months ago, my Daddy sat down with us kids and talked to us about this verse in Psalms in relation to trust/faith. The word 'Delight' is used in reference to the Psalmists entire being processing and hoping and devoting himself to the words of God. This is TRUST. You do not heavily meditate and study something you do not trust is accurate or reliable.
If we are trusting people, 1) we will be disappointed, and 2) we are pulling the power from God in our relationship with Him and focusing our attention on a human who will be born, live, and die. These people around us cannot give us the support, and love that we need and are searching for, but God CAN and SHOULD be demonstrated in our relationships/friendships with people.
With this thinking, I go back again to my original thought: Does this mean we are not to trust people but to trust God and to have faith in people?
I know that for me, I will keep praying and studying on this topic because too many times I allow my expectations and trust of people to hurt me and hinder my growth.
Rest in this: you will never regret fully placing your trust in God.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Monday, May 6, 2013
Suffering to Victory
The hardest experiences that a person can endure involve suffering. There is a difference between pain and suffering. We remember pain, but we live suffering. The anguish of soul, mind, and body is the embodiment of suffering.
Interesting way for me to start this post out right? You could be thinking "Stevie, that's a bit depressing".
I have a point to make though. It is so easy to mentally check out, physically cancel pain, and turn life. I want to be vulnerable in this post because I have reached the point of apathy and numbness when it comes to many situations in my life....and that causes a hardness of heart and a dullness of senses.
I am not going to sit here and list everything I think is unfair or wrong in my life, but I will say that I thank God that He is JUST and not FAIR. He doesn't treat me according to how I deserve and if I received half of what I thought I wanted from Him, my life would be a mess.
I hurt inside. I hurt physically, emotionally, spiritually, and emotionally. And if you will be honest, you will say you are too. Not one human being is exempt from the pain and suffering of this world. Once again (as I have stated in a previous post) "Your Focus Creates Your Feeling". I am still stuck on that.
I have chosen to numb myself to most of my past situations or emotions, and I find it hard to be sensitized to my current ones, and even to those around me!! The thing is, there is release inside of us when we pay attention the hearts and the minds of those around us and extend a hand or word to lift them up.
God is our ultimate Peace, and when we seek Him, we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts...
When you are suffering, what do you do? It is so easy to say "let it go, just surrender and you'll be fine". Those words are not always the most comforting to hear though. When in the middle of your suffering, it is hard to find answers, it is hard to find healthy ways of escape, it is hard to cope. I want you to know that God desires for us to not be in bondage or pain, but to feel light, love, and security.
I find unhealthy ways of my escaping is to cut the people closes in my life out completely, and to retreat in solitude. We need a support system, though not everyone needs to know our business. I am aware that it is hard and sometimes very nerve wracking to find that "one" particular person to open up to, but pray about God leading someone into your life that can keep you accountable through your pain and suffering. Use discernment with the people you speak with and do not divulge to much information to everyone around you.
Healing takes time. It is a choice, and wholeness of mind, body, and soul comes from God. He is our healing in our bones, our rest when we are weary, and our comfort in the darkest of times. I do not know if you are going through a tough season in your life right now, but I want you to be reminded that you are not forgotten, and you can choose to come out stronger in the end, or let it crumble you.
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight". When we focus on our problems and turn our senses inward instead of Christ working outward through us, we become victims of self pity.
We were created in the image of God, and therefore are created to be overcomers and conquerors. The reason we as humans have a hard time being victorious over our circumstances is because we continuously like to talk about our pain with whomever will listen. We continue to relive our pain in our minds and create a "safe zone" that no one can penetrate or reach and we harden our hearts. I know I am guilty of this!! I hope/know I am not alone either.
There comes a point when we have to choose to move past our 'past' and work through and not around our hurts.
There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel and no matter where you are at in life, God always has His hand extended.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Interesting way for me to start this post out right? You could be thinking "Stevie, that's a bit depressing".
I have a point to make though. It is so easy to mentally check out, physically cancel pain, and turn life. I want to be vulnerable in this post because I have reached the point of apathy and numbness when it comes to many situations in my life....and that causes a hardness of heart and a dullness of senses.
I am not going to sit here and list everything I think is unfair or wrong in my life, but I will say that I thank God that He is JUST and not FAIR. He doesn't treat me according to how I deserve and if I received half of what I thought I wanted from Him, my life would be a mess.
I hurt inside. I hurt physically, emotionally, spiritually, and emotionally. And if you will be honest, you will say you are too. Not one human being is exempt from the pain and suffering of this world. Once again (as I have stated in a previous post) "Your Focus Creates Your Feeling". I am still stuck on that.
I have chosen to numb myself to most of my past situations or emotions, and I find it hard to be sensitized to my current ones, and even to those around me!! The thing is, there is release inside of us when we pay attention the hearts and the minds of those around us and extend a hand or word to lift them up.
God is our ultimate Peace, and when we seek Him, we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts...
When you are suffering, what do you do? It is so easy to say "let it go, just surrender and you'll be fine". Those words are not always the most comforting to hear though. When in the middle of your suffering, it is hard to find answers, it is hard to find healthy ways of escape, it is hard to cope. I want you to know that God desires for us to not be in bondage or pain, but to feel light, love, and security.
I find unhealthy ways of my escaping is to cut the people closes in my life out completely, and to retreat in solitude. We need a support system, though not everyone needs to know our business. I am aware that it is hard and sometimes very nerve wracking to find that "one" particular person to open up to, but pray about God leading someone into your life that can keep you accountable through your pain and suffering. Use discernment with the people you speak with and do not divulge to much information to everyone around you.
Healing takes time. It is a choice, and wholeness of mind, body, and soul comes from God. He is our healing in our bones, our rest when we are weary, and our comfort in the darkest of times. I do not know if you are going through a tough season in your life right now, but I want you to be reminded that you are not forgotten, and you can choose to come out stronger in the end, or let it crumble you.
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight". When we focus on our problems and turn our senses inward instead of Christ working outward through us, we become victims of self pity.
We were created in the image of God, and therefore are created to be overcomers and conquerors. The reason we as humans have a hard time being victorious over our circumstances is because we continuously like to talk about our pain with whomever will listen. We continue to relive our pain in our minds and create a "safe zone" that no one can penetrate or reach and we harden our hearts. I know I am guilty of this!! I hope/know I am not alone either.
There comes a point when we have to choose to move past our 'past' and work through and not around our hurts.
There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel and no matter where you are at in life, God always has His hand extended.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Sometimes You Just Have to be Knocked Down...
It has been a while since I have posted, but I now have something on my heart that I would like to share with you.
The last few weeks, God has been trying to get my attention and I have been ignoring him, or as my friend Chris Jennings would so eloquently put; I have been a sloth- "Aint nobody got no time for sloths".
Oddly enough, this topic has been ringing in my ears so much lately. why is it an important topic for me?
Well, I guess 1) out of fear- Revelation 3:16 gives reference to us needing to either be hot in our walk with God, or cold, but not lukewarm. If we are lukewarm we will be spit out of His mouth! Sorry, but to me that is a bit scary. 2) out of experience- Some of you (and maybe literally just some of you) know my testimony and different stories of how God has intervened in my life and I have NO EXCUSE to just be complacent or worse, arrogant about it.
I have a story of how God has literally had to pin me to the ground and hold me down so that He can speak to me and get my attention. I was just diagnosed a few days ago with viral Meningitis and have been in the worse pain ever. No work, no driving allowed, and no crazy physical activity (those who know me, know I am a type A-get it done-independent person). This is hard for me and I will not lie or sugar coat that!!
But I bring this up to wrap this back to the point Chris was making. I have been ignoring God and making everything seem like it has been okay while it actually has been falling apart like crazy around me. I hold onto the branch of Christianity with my crazy claws while staying dormant or dead inside.
God has used the message that Chris gave to challenge me to take the call above being 'Set-Apart'.
This last week while I have been knocked on my butt in pain, He has spoken these two things over and over to me "I have created you fearfully and wonderfully in my image and I will bring to completion the good work I have started in you". He isn't done with me and I have no right to quit or do things my way. I realize now that I literally am no longer my own.
Before this week and reading the book that I shall mention below, I loved shopping for clothes/starbucks and anything else that benefited MYSELF. I now see what is more important in life...
I am in the process of reading a book by the author David Platt called "Follow Me". This book takes us beyond the call of believing, and shows us how to live our faith and points us to the reasons of why we believe. I recommend this book to anyone seeking a deeper faith walk, and a reason for why we call Jesus our King.
In this book, David reminds me that even Satan believes and demons know His name....it is not enough to just say the name of Jesus; it is a call to dying to ourselves and living beyond ourselves.
I challenge you to realize that you are not alive for yourself.
See what you can do this week that is a true sacrifice to who you are used to being or the way you are used to living.
When we live for others, we seem to experience more joy and support from those around us and deep in ourselves. Change your thinking!!
(thank you Chris for being obedient to the call of God on your life and for challenging me)
Much love,
Stevie Rae
The last few weeks, God has been trying to get my attention and I have been ignoring him, or as my friend Chris Jennings would so eloquently put; I have been a sloth- "Aint nobody got no time for sloths".
Oddly enough, this topic has been ringing in my ears so much lately. why is it an important topic for me?
Well, I guess 1) out of fear- Revelation 3:16 gives reference to us needing to either be hot in our walk with God, or cold, but not lukewarm. If we are lukewarm we will be spit out of His mouth! Sorry, but to me that is a bit scary. 2) out of experience- Some of you (and maybe literally just some of you) know my testimony and different stories of how God has intervened in my life and I have NO EXCUSE to just be complacent or worse, arrogant about it.
I have a story of how God has literally had to pin me to the ground and hold me down so that He can speak to me and get my attention. I was just diagnosed a few days ago with viral Meningitis and have been in the worse pain ever. No work, no driving allowed, and no crazy physical activity (those who know me, know I am a type A-get it done-independent person). This is hard for me and I will not lie or sugar coat that!!
But I bring this up to wrap this back to the point Chris was making. I have been ignoring God and making everything seem like it has been okay while it actually has been falling apart like crazy around me. I hold onto the branch of Christianity with my crazy claws while staying dormant or dead inside.
God has used the message that Chris gave to challenge me to take the call above being 'Set-Apart'.
This last week while I have been knocked on my butt in pain, He has spoken these two things over and over to me "I have created you fearfully and wonderfully in my image and I will bring to completion the good work I have started in you". He isn't done with me and I have no right to quit or do things my way. I realize now that I literally am no longer my own.
Before this week and reading the book that I shall mention below, I loved shopping for clothes/starbucks and anything else that benefited MYSELF. I now see what is more important in life...
I am in the process of reading a book by the author David Platt called "Follow Me". This book takes us beyond the call of believing, and shows us how to live our faith and points us to the reasons of why we believe. I recommend this book to anyone seeking a deeper faith walk, and a reason for why we call Jesus our King.
In this book, David reminds me that even Satan believes and demons know His name....it is not enough to just say the name of Jesus; it is a call to dying to ourselves and living beyond ourselves.
I challenge you to realize that you are not alive for yourself.
See what you can do this week that is a true sacrifice to who you are used to being or the way you are used to living.
When we live for others, we seem to experience more joy and support from those around us and deep in ourselves. Change your thinking!!
(thank you Chris for being obedient to the call of God on your life and for challenging me)
Much love,
Stevie Rae
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Weapon or Tactic?
Words....
So much power in the tongue.
I don't even know how to truly start this post but I know it needs to be written. In thinking about the content, I can say that I know I am not alone in feeling the pain of words from others and even ourselves.
If it is one single item that kills and pierces harder than any weapon, it is a word spoken, written, or thought. I find myself stuck on this topic because lately because I personally know the power words have on people.
Too many times from too many people have I felt built up and crushed hard.
There is a song by "Hawk Nelson" called Words, and every time I hear that song, I know what I need to do and the power of my words.
The lyrics: "Words can build you up, words can break you down, start a fire in our hearts, or put it out"
My 3 love languages, (or the ways I most effectively communicate) are words of affirmation, touch, and quality time. God created me to be up-lifted and to uplift. I know too often the power our words have when it comes to starting or putting out fires.
Think of a fire fighter. He doesn't enter a fire without being fully equipped. If he does, he will get burned. Its not wise to walk into a fire dressed in a bathing suit. You need the proper clothing to help protect yourself and keep the fire from blazing further. If a fire fighter is not fully equipped, the fire blazes further and burns more than it would if the proper equipment was used to eradicate the problem. It is the same way with our words. We can help stir up a passion inside the hearts of those around us by speaking wisdom into their lives OR we can crush a dream and hurt the people closest to us.
If we are not adequately prepared to handle what life throws at us, we can be burned by the slightest word. I know that people react or say certain things out of their own hurts and mistakes and in turn hurt others.
We need to use this tool that God has given us to help and not hurt, to create life and not destroy.
What would our world look like if we tried to stop and think about what we said before we said it? try it. change one word when speaking to someone and see how they react...POSITEVELY.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
So much power in the tongue.
I don't even know how to truly start this post but I know it needs to be written. In thinking about the content, I can say that I know I am not alone in feeling the pain of words from others and even ourselves.
If it is one single item that kills and pierces harder than any weapon, it is a word spoken, written, or thought. I find myself stuck on this topic because lately because I personally know the power words have on people.
Too many times from too many people have I felt built up and crushed hard.
There is a song by "Hawk Nelson" called Words, and every time I hear that song, I know what I need to do and the power of my words.
The lyrics: "Words can build you up, words can break you down, start a fire in our hearts, or put it out"
My 3 love languages, (or the ways I most effectively communicate) are words of affirmation, touch, and quality time. God created me to be up-lifted and to uplift. I know too often the power our words have when it comes to starting or putting out fires.
Think of a fire fighter. He doesn't enter a fire without being fully equipped. If he does, he will get burned. Its not wise to walk into a fire dressed in a bathing suit. You need the proper clothing to help protect yourself and keep the fire from blazing further. If a fire fighter is not fully equipped, the fire blazes further and burns more than it would if the proper equipment was used to eradicate the problem. It is the same way with our words. We can help stir up a passion inside the hearts of those around us by speaking wisdom into their lives OR we can crush a dream and hurt the people closest to us.
If we are not adequately prepared to handle what life throws at us, we can be burned by the slightest word. I know that people react or say certain things out of their own hurts and mistakes and in turn hurt others.
We need to use this tool that God has given us to help and not hurt, to create life and not destroy.
What would our world look like if we tried to stop and think about what we said before we said it? try it. change one word when speaking to someone and see how they react...POSITEVELY.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Realtionally Emotional?
I have heard it said multiple times the last few weeks from a few close people in my life that "your focus creates your feeling". Those 5 words have kept me thinking and pondering what it means to be emotional.
As a teenager, my Daddy would tell me that I was too emotional and that drama was my best friend. I never liked hearing those words from him so when I heard the saying 'I am not emotional, just relational', I quoted that statement and coined it as my own without truly understanding what the meaning was behind the words.
With a few days shy of 21, I look back on the control I have "mastered" over my emotions and the wisdom I have prayed for manifesting itself and helping me see through the emotions and to the heartbeat of issues.
I think this is a huge problem, especially for women. We do not need help from society to place labels on our hearts regarding our emotions because we do such a god job of pinning ourselves with names of 'drama queen', 'over emotional', 'cry baby', 'angry child', and others just like these.
Can we be real and start with the basics? Why is controlling our emotions a big deal? How come our identities can be defined by how we think, feel, and react to things? Some of us may be taught subconsciously from a young age that expressing how we feel may be a sign of weakness, or not allowed because it displays disrespect for the authority around us. Whet do we do then, and how do we healthily develop into self-controlled adults?
There are scriptures that explain why emotion management IS a 'big deal':
Ephesians 4:26 says "In your anger, do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".
Galatians 5:22-24 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires".
Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall".
Even Christ had emotions of anger and sadness. He became angry when He saw the Pharisees selling goods in the temple, and became sad when Lazarus died. There is nothing wrong with feeling or experiencing different emotions. What you are focusing on is what you will react on.
For instance, when I do not spend time with God for days in a row, slowly I find myself getting more irritable over small things and I become quicker to being harsh with my words because of my feelings of frustration. I am not focusing on God, I am focusing on the injustice done to MY agenda.
I don't believe God created us to be emotional beings, I believe he created us to be relational beings. Don't believe me? Give me a few examples, and I will show you that they all tie back to being relational beings. Your Dad died so you feel anger and sadness? Those feelings are justified but think about it: you are angry because he was your dad and you think he left this earth unjustly and too soon, you are sad because you will never have those earthly connections of hugs, laughter, and smiles with him. All you have left is memories. You are relating about your Dad through your emotions.
God didn't become emotional one day and say "I want to make humans and an earth so that one day I can have my own son go die for them and I can be in pain constantly because of their disobedience and lost hearts". God created us because he was lonely. He didn't create angels in His image, he created man in his image so that we can have the choice to worship Him, and that while living on earth, we can see daily the majesty of His creation.
There is pain and heartache in this world, and I am not minimizing the feelings that arise from these circumstances; believe me, I know that life doesn't always deal the prettiest of cards.
I know there is the teenage boy cutting himself late at night in his bedroom because he is beat daily by his stepdad. I know there is that young single mother who is about to lose her house, her baby, and everything she knows because she can't support herself or her child financially. I know there is that woman who struggles with panic attacks and deep depression and can't dig her way out of the darkness. I know there are those siblings having to come together to discuss funeral arrangements and medical decisions regarding their elderly parents. Life is hard and emotions are raw and real, but what we choose to focus on is what strengthens or weakness us in those situations.
I wonder what would happen if we spoke life to ourselves in the mirror in the morning. What if we told ourselves 'I am patient and can endure through the frustrations of today', 'I am beautiful no matter what those around me say', 'I am strong and can conquer this situation', 'I choose to give grace today because I know I do not deserve it but I still receive it'. Statements like these can shift our attention off the negativity and focus on solution based living.
Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"
Remember you are on control of your thoughts (what you focus on), and what you feel (whether or not you will let your emotions take you down or if you will conquer them).
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
As a teenager, my Daddy would tell me that I was too emotional and that drama was my best friend. I never liked hearing those words from him so when I heard the saying 'I am not emotional, just relational', I quoted that statement and coined it as my own without truly understanding what the meaning was behind the words.
With a few days shy of 21, I look back on the control I have "mastered" over my emotions and the wisdom I have prayed for manifesting itself and helping me see through the emotions and to the heartbeat of issues.
I think this is a huge problem, especially for women. We do not need help from society to place labels on our hearts regarding our emotions because we do such a god job of pinning ourselves with names of 'drama queen', 'over emotional', 'cry baby', 'angry child', and others just like these.
Can we be real and start with the basics? Why is controlling our emotions a big deal? How come our identities can be defined by how we think, feel, and react to things? Some of us may be taught subconsciously from a young age that expressing how we feel may be a sign of weakness, or not allowed because it displays disrespect for the authority around us. Whet do we do then, and how do we healthily develop into self-controlled adults?
There are scriptures that explain why emotion management IS a 'big deal':
Ephesians 4:26 says "In your anger, do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".
Galatians 5:22-24 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires".
Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall".
Even Christ had emotions of anger and sadness. He became angry when He saw the Pharisees selling goods in the temple, and became sad when Lazarus died. There is nothing wrong with feeling or experiencing different emotions. What you are focusing on is what you will react on.
For instance, when I do not spend time with God for days in a row, slowly I find myself getting more irritable over small things and I become quicker to being harsh with my words because of my feelings of frustration. I am not focusing on God, I am focusing on the injustice done to MY agenda.
I don't believe God created us to be emotional beings, I believe he created us to be relational beings. Don't believe me? Give me a few examples, and I will show you that they all tie back to being relational beings. Your Dad died so you feel anger and sadness? Those feelings are justified but think about it: you are angry because he was your dad and you think he left this earth unjustly and too soon, you are sad because you will never have those earthly connections of hugs, laughter, and smiles with him. All you have left is memories. You are relating about your Dad through your emotions.
God didn't become emotional one day and say "I want to make humans and an earth so that one day I can have my own son go die for them and I can be in pain constantly because of their disobedience and lost hearts". God created us because he was lonely. He didn't create angels in His image, he created man in his image so that we can have the choice to worship Him, and that while living on earth, we can see daily the majesty of His creation.
There is pain and heartache in this world, and I am not minimizing the feelings that arise from these circumstances; believe me, I know that life doesn't always deal the prettiest of cards.
I know there is the teenage boy cutting himself late at night in his bedroom because he is beat daily by his stepdad. I know there is that young single mother who is about to lose her house, her baby, and everything she knows because she can't support herself or her child financially. I know there is that woman who struggles with panic attacks and deep depression and can't dig her way out of the darkness. I know there are those siblings having to come together to discuss funeral arrangements and medical decisions regarding their elderly parents. Life is hard and emotions are raw and real, but what we choose to focus on is what strengthens or weakness us in those situations.
I wonder what would happen if we spoke life to ourselves in the mirror in the morning. What if we told ourselves 'I am patient and can endure through the frustrations of today', 'I am beautiful no matter what those around me say', 'I am strong and can conquer this situation', 'I choose to give grace today because I know I do not deserve it but I still receive it'. Statements like these can shift our attention off the negativity and focus on solution based living.
Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"
Remember you are on control of your thoughts (what you focus on), and what you feel (whether or not you will let your emotions take you down or if you will conquer them).
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Lesson In Love
So, how many times can we as humans sit back and count the endless times we have "loved" someone? It really should not be too hard if you think about it. We say we love our family members, our best friends, and maybe even those acquaintances that we casually say "love you" to.
But what is LOVE? Is love the bitter sting of molestation from a family member or stranger? Is love the hostile words of an angry sibling? Maybe to some, love is the rejection of a parent or the unfaithfulness of a spouse. If these above examples above are definitions of 'love', then no wonder why our society is lost and hurt!
I for one, have been caught in this spiral façade of relational abandonment and anger trips all because I was confused on how I was supposed to love and be loved.
Love is a powerful, deep, intimate four letter word that is so casually spilled out of our human mouths without thoughts to the consequences of whom these words are reciprocated.
What is LOVE? How is it defined? Grasped? Understood? Connected with?
Let me share with you the all so familiar definition that I have come across of the word 'love': Love is patient. love is kind, love is long suffering, it keeps no records of wrong, love perseveres, always hopes, love never fails. Now, this definition is paraphrased a bit, but the reference is 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
No wonder why our world is stuck in their blindness of love! It is easy to be manipulated into thinking that our actions and behaviors represent love when the supermarkets and advertisements tell you a stuffed teddy and box of chocolates will cover everything and make us feel better.
Love triumphs over evil. Besides Jesus, I think my favorite love story is the story of Hosea his prostitute wife. No matter the pain, the shame, the humiliation, the rejection, the problems, Hosea stuck by his wife and consistently went back to her because of his unconditional love for her.
We have shows like Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil that promote unfaithful relationships to come on television and verbally assault and physically damage the other person due to their unfaithfulness. Our society thrives on drama and our eyes become glued to the television sets or the gossip magazines that do not promote Christ in relationships because people are searching for true God filled, love filled, and humble relationships.
Love understands that each other has faults, each other has a past record, each other has broken memories and yet still stands beside that person. Love looks beyond ones selfish emotions and circumstances and seeks ways to serve the other. Love understands pain and sends a smile or a listening ear to show that the other person is significant.
Love can be scarred, is beat up, and undergoes constant trials, but has the strength and grace to keep fighting and keep standing.
Love looks at the soul and not at the person. It sees how to nurture and protect instead of damage and corrupt.
If we loved like this in our relationships, and put God first, we would be able to fight through any relational issues and come out stronger in the end. Love is "Yada" or (intimate...a verb...an action in Hebrew). Love demonstrates intimacy while being hurt but applying truth to the situation. Love is God and puts God first. Love does not seek to satisfy oneself but looks at the needs of the other and pursues righteous intimate connection to fulfill that need.
This is a deep concept, a hard lesson, and a strange way for our corrupt minds to live. Once we focus our minds on Christ, and watch his demonstration of Love, we shall be able to know and be known.
Stay connected relationally in love and intimacy.
Much love,
Stevie Rae
But what is LOVE? Is love the bitter sting of molestation from a family member or stranger? Is love the hostile words of an angry sibling? Maybe to some, love is the rejection of a parent or the unfaithfulness of a spouse. If these above examples above are definitions of 'love', then no wonder why our society is lost and hurt!
I for one, have been caught in this spiral façade of relational abandonment and anger trips all because I was confused on how I was supposed to love and be loved.
Love is a powerful, deep, intimate four letter word that is so casually spilled out of our human mouths without thoughts to the consequences of whom these words are reciprocated.
What is LOVE? How is it defined? Grasped? Understood? Connected with?
Let me share with you the all so familiar definition that I have come across of the word 'love': Love is patient. love is kind, love is long suffering, it keeps no records of wrong, love perseveres, always hopes, love never fails. Now, this definition is paraphrased a bit, but the reference is 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
No wonder why our world is stuck in their blindness of love! It is easy to be manipulated into thinking that our actions and behaviors represent love when the supermarkets and advertisements tell you a stuffed teddy and box of chocolates will cover everything and make us feel better.
Love triumphs over evil. Besides Jesus, I think my favorite love story is the story of Hosea his prostitute wife. No matter the pain, the shame, the humiliation, the rejection, the problems, Hosea stuck by his wife and consistently went back to her because of his unconditional love for her.
We have shows like Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil that promote unfaithful relationships to come on television and verbally assault and physically damage the other person due to their unfaithfulness. Our society thrives on drama and our eyes become glued to the television sets or the gossip magazines that do not promote Christ in relationships because people are searching for true God filled, love filled, and humble relationships.
Love understands that each other has faults, each other has a past record, each other has broken memories and yet still stands beside that person. Love looks beyond ones selfish emotions and circumstances and seeks ways to serve the other. Love understands pain and sends a smile or a listening ear to show that the other person is significant.
Love can be scarred, is beat up, and undergoes constant trials, but has the strength and grace to keep fighting and keep standing.
Love looks at the soul and not at the person. It sees how to nurture and protect instead of damage and corrupt.
If we loved like this in our relationships, and put God first, we would be able to fight through any relational issues and come out stronger in the end. Love is "Yada" or (intimate...a verb...an action in Hebrew). Love demonstrates intimacy while being hurt but applying truth to the situation. Love is God and puts God first. Love does not seek to satisfy oneself but looks at the needs of the other and pursues righteous intimate connection to fulfill that need.
This is a deep concept, a hard lesson, and a strange way for our corrupt minds to live. Once we focus our minds on Christ, and watch his demonstration of Love, we shall be able to know and be known.
Stay connected relationally in love and intimacy.
Much love,
Stevie Rae
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Today is the Day
I have been telling myself to start a blog for 3 years now. I finally decided to take the step and move forward with the gift of writing that has been bellowing beneath my brain cells. This post and the posts to follow are to encourage, equip, and tutor the spiritually starving, the mentally parched, and the relationally numb. My desire is to see the lives of my readers transformed by the stories posted throughout this blog. With God as my center and people as my focus, I know mountains shall be moved. I am excited about this blog because I can expand beyond my few friends and family that have granted me success in my writing and allow the world to see beyond a blonde haired blue eyed girl and into the heart of a Kingdom Shaker. These posts will be transparent, real, and authentic. Without authenticity, relationship cannot be formed.
Like footprints in the sand, I desire these posts to be 'others' focused and for the messages to be centered on reaching through with 'togetherness'.
I chose the title of my blog to be called "Starting Line of a Crazy Race" because this journey we are on is not an easy one mile sprint around a track. but it is million mile race with rocks, thorns, currents, mountains, sunburn (hey, I am a white girl I can relate to this one), and potholes. The key to getting through this race is knowing and not avoiding the issues of life, but being thankful for the strength God has give you to persevere through the trials. God has not created weak links and we are all to encourage and lift each other up in love.
God has birthed a passion in me to paint a beautiful picture of His Grace and Love with words and I pray you see the heartbeat of Christ in my writings.
Be blessed and joyous in the little things,
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Like footprints in the sand, I desire these posts to be 'others' focused and for the messages to be centered on reaching through with 'togetherness'.
I chose the title of my blog to be called "Starting Line of a Crazy Race" because this journey we are on is not an easy one mile sprint around a track. but it is million mile race with rocks, thorns, currents, mountains, sunburn (hey, I am a white girl I can relate to this one), and potholes. The key to getting through this race is knowing and not avoiding the issues of life, but being thankful for the strength God has give you to persevere through the trials. God has not created weak links and we are all to encourage and lift each other up in love.
God has birthed a passion in me to paint a beautiful picture of His Grace and Love with words and I pray you see the heartbeat of Christ in my writings.
Be blessed and joyous in the little things,
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
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