Realtionally Emotional?

I have heard it said multiple times the last few weeks from a few close people in my life that "your focus creates your feeling". Those 5 words have kept me thinking and pondering what it means to be emotional.

As a teenager, my Daddy would tell me that I was too emotional and that drama was my best friend. I never liked hearing those words from him so when I heard the saying 'I am not emotional, just relational', I quoted that statement and coined it as my own without truly understanding what the meaning was behind the words.

With a few days shy of 21, I look back on the control I have "mastered" over my emotions and the wisdom I have prayed for manifesting itself and helping me see through the emotions and to the heartbeat of issues.

I think this is a huge problem, especially for women. We do not need help from society to place labels on our hearts regarding our emotions because we do such a god job of pinning ourselves with names of 'drama queen', 'over emotional', 'cry baby', 'angry child', and others just like these.

Can we be real and start with the basics? Why is controlling our emotions a big deal? How come our identities can be defined by how we think, feel, and react to things? Some of us may be taught subconsciously from a young age that expressing how we feel may be a sign of weakness, or not allowed because it displays disrespect for the authority around us. Whet do we do then, and how do we healthily develop into self-controlled adults?

There are scriptures that explain why emotion management IS a 'big deal':
Ephesians 4:26 says "In your anger, do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".
Galatians 5:22-24 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires".
Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall".

Even Christ had emotions of anger and sadness. He became angry when He saw the Pharisees selling goods in the temple, and became sad when Lazarus died. There is nothing wrong with feeling or experiencing different emotions. What you are focusing on is what you will react on.

For instance, when I do not spend time with God for days in a row, slowly I find myself getting more irritable over small things and I become quicker to being harsh with my words because of my feelings of frustration. I am not focusing on God, I am focusing on the injustice done to MY agenda.

I don't believe God created us to be emotional beings, I believe he created us to be relational beings. Don't believe me? Give me a few examples, and I will show you that they all tie back to being relational beings. Your Dad died so you feel anger and sadness? Those feelings are justified but think about it: you are angry because he was your dad and you think he left this earth unjustly and too soon, you are sad because you will never have those earthly connections of hugs, laughter, and smiles with him. All you have left is memories. You are relating about your Dad through your emotions.

God didn't become emotional one day and say "I want to make humans and an earth so that one day I can have my own son go die for them and I can be in pain constantly because of their disobedience and lost hearts". God created us because he was lonely. He didn't create angels in His image, he created man in his image so that we can have the choice to worship Him, and that while living on earth, we can see daily the majesty of His creation.

There is pain and heartache in this world, and I am not minimizing the feelings that arise from these circumstances; believe me, I know that life doesn't always deal the prettiest of cards.

I know there is the teenage boy cutting himself late at night in his bedroom because he is beat daily by his stepdad. I know there is that young single mother who is about to lose her house, her baby, and everything she knows because she can't support herself or her child financially. I know there is that woman who struggles with panic attacks and deep depression and can't dig her way out of the darkness. I know there are those siblings having to come together to discuss funeral arrangements and medical decisions regarding their elderly parents. Life is hard and emotions are raw and real, but what we choose to focus on is what strengthens or weakness us in those situations.

I wonder what would happen if we spoke life to ourselves in the mirror in the morning. What if we told ourselves 'I am patient and can endure through the frustrations of today', 'I am beautiful no matter what those around me say', 'I am strong and can conquer this situation', 'I choose to give grace today because I know I do not deserve it but I still receive it'. Statements like these can shift our attention off the negativity and focus on solution based living.

Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"

Remember you are on control of your thoughts (what you focus on), and what you feel (whether or not you will let your emotions take you down or if you will conquer them).

Much Love,

Stevie Rae