Words....
So much power in the tongue.
I don't even know how to truly start this post but I know it needs to be written. In thinking about the content, I can say that I know I am not alone in feeling the pain of words from others and even ourselves.
If it is one single item that kills and pierces harder than any weapon, it is a word spoken, written, or thought. I find myself stuck on this topic because lately because I personally know the power words have on people.
Too many times from too many people have I felt built up and crushed hard.
There is a song by "Hawk Nelson" called Words, and every time I hear that song, I know what I need to do and the power of my words.
The lyrics: "Words can build you up, words can break you down, start a fire in our hearts, or put it out"
My 3 love languages, (or the ways I most effectively communicate) are words of affirmation, touch, and quality time. God created me to be up-lifted and to uplift. I know too often the power our words have when it comes to starting or putting out fires.
Think of a fire fighter. He doesn't enter a fire without being fully equipped. If he does, he will get burned. Its not wise to walk into a fire dressed in a bathing suit. You need the proper clothing to help protect yourself and keep the fire from blazing further. If a fire fighter is not fully equipped, the fire blazes further and burns more than it would if the proper equipment was used to eradicate the problem. It is the same way with our words. We can help stir up a passion inside the hearts of those around us by speaking wisdom into their lives OR we can crush a dream and hurt the people closest to us.
If we are not adequately prepared to handle what life throws at us, we can be burned by the slightest word. I know that people react or say certain things out of their own hurts and mistakes and in turn hurt others.
We need to use this tool that God has given us to help and not hurt, to create life and not destroy.
What would our world look like if we tried to stop and think about what we said before we said it? try it. change one word when speaking to someone and see how they react...POSITEVELY.
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Realtionally Emotional?
I have heard it said multiple times the last few weeks from a few close people in my life that "your focus creates your feeling". Those 5 words have kept me thinking and pondering what it means to be emotional.
As a teenager, my Daddy would tell me that I was too emotional and that drama was my best friend. I never liked hearing those words from him so when I heard the saying 'I am not emotional, just relational', I quoted that statement and coined it as my own without truly understanding what the meaning was behind the words.
With a few days shy of 21, I look back on the control I have "mastered" over my emotions and the wisdom I have prayed for manifesting itself and helping me see through the emotions and to the heartbeat of issues.
I think this is a huge problem, especially for women. We do not need help from society to place labels on our hearts regarding our emotions because we do such a god job of pinning ourselves with names of 'drama queen', 'over emotional', 'cry baby', 'angry child', and others just like these.
Can we be real and start with the basics? Why is controlling our emotions a big deal? How come our identities can be defined by how we think, feel, and react to things? Some of us may be taught subconsciously from a young age that expressing how we feel may be a sign of weakness, or not allowed because it displays disrespect for the authority around us. Whet do we do then, and how do we healthily develop into self-controlled adults?
There are scriptures that explain why emotion management IS a 'big deal':
Ephesians 4:26 says "In your anger, do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".
Galatians 5:22-24 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires".
Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall".
Even Christ had emotions of anger and sadness. He became angry when He saw the Pharisees selling goods in the temple, and became sad when Lazarus died. There is nothing wrong with feeling or experiencing different emotions. What you are focusing on is what you will react on.
For instance, when I do not spend time with God for days in a row, slowly I find myself getting more irritable over small things and I become quicker to being harsh with my words because of my feelings of frustration. I am not focusing on God, I am focusing on the injustice done to MY agenda.
I don't believe God created us to be emotional beings, I believe he created us to be relational beings. Don't believe me? Give me a few examples, and I will show you that they all tie back to being relational beings. Your Dad died so you feel anger and sadness? Those feelings are justified but think about it: you are angry because he was your dad and you think he left this earth unjustly and too soon, you are sad because you will never have those earthly connections of hugs, laughter, and smiles with him. All you have left is memories. You are relating about your Dad through your emotions.
God didn't become emotional one day and say "I want to make humans and an earth so that one day I can have my own son go die for them and I can be in pain constantly because of their disobedience and lost hearts". God created us because he was lonely. He didn't create angels in His image, he created man in his image so that we can have the choice to worship Him, and that while living on earth, we can see daily the majesty of His creation.
There is pain and heartache in this world, and I am not minimizing the feelings that arise from these circumstances; believe me, I know that life doesn't always deal the prettiest of cards.
I know there is the teenage boy cutting himself late at night in his bedroom because he is beat daily by his stepdad. I know there is that young single mother who is about to lose her house, her baby, and everything she knows because she can't support herself or her child financially. I know there is that woman who struggles with panic attacks and deep depression and can't dig her way out of the darkness. I know there are those siblings having to come together to discuss funeral arrangements and medical decisions regarding their elderly parents. Life is hard and emotions are raw and real, but what we choose to focus on is what strengthens or weakness us in those situations.
I wonder what would happen if we spoke life to ourselves in the mirror in the morning. What if we told ourselves 'I am patient and can endure through the frustrations of today', 'I am beautiful no matter what those around me say', 'I am strong and can conquer this situation', 'I choose to give grace today because I know I do not deserve it but I still receive it'. Statements like these can shift our attention off the negativity and focus on solution based living.
Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"
Remember you are on control of your thoughts (what you focus on), and what you feel (whether or not you will let your emotions take you down or if you will conquer them).
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
As a teenager, my Daddy would tell me that I was too emotional and that drama was my best friend. I never liked hearing those words from him so when I heard the saying 'I am not emotional, just relational', I quoted that statement and coined it as my own without truly understanding what the meaning was behind the words.
With a few days shy of 21, I look back on the control I have "mastered" over my emotions and the wisdom I have prayed for manifesting itself and helping me see through the emotions and to the heartbeat of issues.
I think this is a huge problem, especially for women. We do not need help from society to place labels on our hearts regarding our emotions because we do such a god job of pinning ourselves with names of 'drama queen', 'over emotional', 'cry baby', 'angry child', and others just like these.
Can we be real and start with the basics? Why is controlling our emotions a big deal? How come our identities can be defined by how we think, feel, and react to things? Some of us may be taught subconsciously from a young age that expressing how we feel may be a sign of weakness, or not allowed because it displays disrespect for the authority around us. Whet do we do then, and how do we healthily develop into self-controlled adults?
There are scriptures that explain why emotion management IS a 'big deal':
Ephesians 4:26 says "In your anger, do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".
Galatians 5:22-24 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires".
Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall".
Even Christ had emotions of anger and sadness. He became angry when He saw the Pharisees selling goods in the temple, and became sad when Lazarus died. There is nothing wrong with feeling or experiencing different emotions. What you are focusing on is what you will react on.
For instance, when I do not spend time with God for days in a row, slowly I find myself getting more irritable over small things and I become quicker to being harsh with my words because of my feelings of frustration. I am not focusing on God, I am focusing on the injustice done to MY agenda.
I don't believe God created us to be emotional beings, I believe he created us to be relational beings. Don't believe me? Give me a few examples, and I will show you that they all tie back to being relational beings. Your Dad died so you feel anger and sadness? Those feelings are justified but think about it: you are angry because he was your dad and you think he left this earth unjustly and too soon, you are sad because you will never have those earthly connections of hugs, laughter, and smiles with him. All you have left is memories. You are relating about your Dad through your emotions.
God didn't become emotional one day and say "I want to make humans and an earth so that one day I can have my own son go die for them and I can be in pain constantly because of their disobedience and lost hearts". God created us because he was lonely. He didn't create angels in His image, he created man in his image so that we can have the choice to worship Him, and that while living on earth, we can see daily the majesty of His creation.
There is pain and heartache in this world, and I am not minimizing the feelings that arise from these circumstances; believe me, I know that life doesn't always deal the prettiest of cards.
I know there is the teenage boy cutting himself late at night in his bedroom because he is beat daily by his stepdad. I know there is that young single mother who is about to lose her house, her baby, and everything she knows because she can't support herself or her child financially. I know there is that woman who struggles with panic attacks and deep depression and can't dig her way out of the darkness. I know there are those siblings having to come together to discuss funeral arrangements and medical decisions regarding their elderly parents. Life is hard and emotions are raw and real, but what we choose to focus on is what strengthens or weakness us in those situations.
I wonder what would happen if we spoke life to ourselves in the mirror in the morning. What if we told ourselves 'I am patient and can endure through the frustrations of today', 'I am beautiful no matter what those around me say', 'I am strong and can conquer this situation', 'I choose to give grace today because I know I do not deserve it but I still receive it'. Statements like these can shift our attention off the negativity and focus on solution based living.
Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"
Remember you are on control of your thoughts (what you focus on), and what you feel (whether or not you will let your emotions take you down or if you will conquer them).
Much Love,
Stevie Rae
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Lesson In Love
So, how many times can we as humans sit back and count the endless times we have "loved" someone? It really should not be too hard if you think about it. We say we love our family members, our best friends, and maybe even those acquaintances that we casually say "love you" to.
But what is LOVE? Is love the bitter sting of molestation from a family member or stranger? Is love the hostile words of an angry sibling? Maybe to some, love is the rejection of a parent or the unfaithfulness of a spouse. If these above examples above are definitions of 'love', then no wonder why our society is lost and hurt!
I for one, have been caught in this spiral façade of relational abandonment and anger trips all because I was confused on how I was supposed to love and be loved.
Love is a powerful, deep, intimate four letter word that is so casually spilled out of our human mouths without thoughts to the consequences of whom these words are reciprocated.
What is LOVE? How is it defined? Grasped? Understood? Connected with?
Let me share with you the all so familiar definition that I have come across of the word 'love': Love is patient. love is kind, love is long suffering, it keeps no records of wrong, love perseveres, always hopes, love never fails. Now, this definition is paraphrased a bit, but the reference is 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
No wonder why our world is stuck in their blindness of love! It is easy to be manipulated into thinking that our actions and behaviors represent love when the supermarkets and advertisements tell you a stuffed teddy and box of chocolates will cover everything and make us feel better.
Love triumphs over evil. Besides Jesus, I think my favorite love story is the story of Hosea his prostitute wife. No matter the pain, the shame, the humiliation, the rejection, the problems, Hosea stuck by his wife and consistently went back to her because of his unconditional love for her.
We have shows like Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil that promote unfaithful relationships to come on television and verbally assault and physically damage the other person due to their unfaithfulness. Our society thrives on drama and our eyes become glued to the television sets or the gossip magazines that do not promote Christ in relationships because people are searching for true God filled, love filled, and humble relationships.
Love understands that each other has faults, each other has a past record, each other has broken memories and yet still stands beside that person. Love looks beyond ones selfish emotions and circumstances and seeks ways to serve the other. Love understands pain and sends a smile or a listening ear to show that the other person is significant.
Love can be scarred, is beat up, and undergoes constant trials, but has the strength and grace to keep fighting and keep standing.
Love looks at the soul and not at the person. It sees how to nurture and protect instead of damage and corrupt.
If we loved like this in our relationships, and put God first, we would be able to fight through any relational issues and come out stronger in the end. Love is "Yada" or (intimate...a verb...an action in Hebrew). Love demonstrates intimacy while being hurt but applying truth to the situation. Love is God and puts God first. Love does not seek to satisfy oneself but looks at the needs of the other and pursues righteous intimate connection to fulfill that need.
This is a deep concept, a hard lesson, and a strange way for our corrupt minds to live. Once we focus our minds on Christ, and watch his demonstration of Love, we shall be able to know and be known.
Stay connected relationally in love and intimacy.
Much love,
Stevie Rae
But what is LOVE? Is love the bitter sting of molestation from a family member or stranger? Is love the hostile words of an angry sibling? Maybe to some, love is the rejection of a parent or the unfaithfulness of a spouse. If these above examples above are definitions of 'love', then no wonder why our society is lost and hurt!
I for one, have been caught in this spiral façade of relational abandonment and anger trips all because I was confused on how I was supposed to love and be loved.
Love is a powerful, deep, intimate four letter word that is so casually spilled out of our human mouths without thoughts to the consequences of whom these words are reciprocated.
What is LOVE? How is it defined? Grasped? Understood? Connected with?
Let me share with you the all so familiar definition that I have come across of the word 'love': Love is patient. love is kind, love is long suffering, it keeps no records of wrong, love perseveres, always hopes, love never fails. Now, this definition is paraphrased a bit, but the reference is 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
No wonder why our world is stuck in their blindness of love! It is easy to be manipulated into thinking that our actions and behaviors represent love when the supermarkets and advertisements tell you a stuffed teddy and box of chocolates will cover everything and make us feel better.
Love triumphs over evil. Besides Jesus, I think my favorite love story is the story of Hosea his prostitute wife. No matter the pain, the shame, the humiliation, the rejection, the problems, Hosea stuck by his wife and consistently went back to her because of his unconditional love for her.
We have shows like Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil that promote unfaithful relationships to come on television and verbally assault and physically damage the other person due to their unfaithfulness. Our society thrives on drama and our eyes become glued to the television sets or the gossip magazines that do not promote Christ in relationships because people are searching for true God filled, love filled, and humble relationships.
Love understands that each other has faults, each other has a past record, each other has broken memories and yet still stands beside that person. Love looks beyond ones selfish emotions and circumstances and seeks ways to serve the other. Love understands pain and sends a smile or a listening ear to show that the other person is significant.
Love can be scarred, is beat up, and undergoes constant trials, but has the strength and grace to keep fighting and keep standing.
Love looks at the soul and not at the person. It sees how to nurture and protect instead of damage and corrupt.
If we loved like this in our relationships, and put God first, we would be able to fight through any relational issues and come out stronger in the end. Love is "Yada" or (intimate...a verb...an action in Hebrew). Love demonstrates intimacy while being hurt but applying truth to the situation. Love is God and puts God first. Love does not seek to satisfy oneself but looks at the needs of the other and pursues righteous intimate connection to fulfill that need.
This is a deep concept, a hard lesson, and a strange way for our corrupt minds to live. Once we focus our minds on Christ, and watch his demonstration of Love, we shall be able to know and be known.
Stay connected relationally in love and intimacy.
Much love,
Stevie Rae
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)